A Cold Dose of Reality

Posted on August 19, 2008 by Steve

We all go through the ups and downs of life. The ups are usually the easy parts. The downs, while difficult, are usually necessary to help us grow and learn.

I recently took a close look at one of those “down” periods of my life and something struck me. Sometimes our emotions get the better of us and even though we are right there, our perception of the reality that we are living is not always in tune with what is actually happening around us. Our emotions blind us and we fail to see things clearly. And worse even is the fact that when we fail to see things clearly we often mistake shadows for reality and react inappropriately because we are reacting to the illusions brought about by our own insecurities.

I am still trying to reconcile all of this, and make sense of those dark days. Still, I can’t help but wonder about other significant moments in my life. How sure can I be that my perception is anything more than an illusion born of my secret insecurities? Are the most difficult times in my life all brought about when I reacted to illusion instead of reality? Can we ever escape our own insecurities enough to experience pure reality?

I don’t really know the answers to these questions, but I suspect it all comes back to one simple tenet of life: no real growth can happen until we trust and respect ourselves by being honest with ourselves in all matters.

And one last question: when did life get so complicated? I thought we were supposed to get more answers as we grew older, not have to question all the answers we already had.

Fortune Cookie

Posted on July 23, 2008 by Steve

So, I was having lunch with a couple of former co-workers and we were discussing a new venture they were involved in. They were gauging my interest in this project of theirs and we were talking about the possibility of getting me involved over some nice Asian cuisine (I had the beef with Szechwan Peppercorn Sauce and brown rice).

After lunch they always send fortune cookies over to the table with the check. I got a kick out of my fortune:

Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far!

Time is a funny thing…

Posted on July 13, 2008 by Steve

And it’s funny how enough of it passing can give you perspective and balance.

So, I attended my 20 Year High School Reunion last night. In fact, I was part of the planning committee that made it all happen. It was a really nice time. It was good to see some old friends, but even better was connecting with people who, even though we spent high school together (and sometimes junior high and elementary school), I never really knew at all.

There were a few people who didn’t make it that I really wished had. People that were good friends at one time, that I have lost touch with over all these years. I hope to connect with them through some other friends who did show up and keep in touch with them.

So, it just goes to show…20 years down the road we all, for the most part, seem to be a lot more comfortable in our skin and quite a bit more secure in who we are. There’s a lesson here…and a song…

I’m Exhausted

Posted on July 11, 2008 by Steve

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. Working through nights or late into the night has become far too common. I’m really burning out. I am taking this weekend to decompress and gear up for some music next week. I have a drummer friend of mine coming by to lay down some tracks for some of my tunes. That will be a pleasant change from all this coding and clients who think they know what they want until you give it to them.

On a positive note, I am making progress on a business venture that I will be able to reveal shortly. I’m quite excited about it and really enjoy the guys I’m working with on this. It could very well be my full-time gig in a way that still leaves me the opportunity to just focus on writing. Plus, these guys are so very respectful of the fact that I want to do music. A rare opportunity indeed.

Oh, and wish me luck. I’m going to my high school reunion tomorrow night. Nostalgia is a dangerous thing for me. Like a moth to a flame I am drawn to the past.

[MEDIA=2]

Synchronicity

Posted on May 18, 2008 by Steve

It always amazes me how one chance meeting can turn into an opportunity and how that opportunity can turn into another, seemingly unrelated, opportunity. That has been the theme of this past week. A myriad of disparate connections somehow coalescing into a larger more unified plan.

Life never ceases to amaze me.

Never a dull moment

Posted on April 25, 2008 by Steve

The past couple of weeks has been anything but boring. Once again, change is in the air. But everything seems to be changing for the better and I feel myself becoming much more comfortable with life in general.

I have been really excited about this song I’ve recorded. It’s almost done, I just need to add the highest harmonies and finish the mix. I had the great honor of having a great drummer here to record the drum tracks for me. I’m really getting excited about music again. It has inspired me to get some more of my music recorded. There are a group of songs that I just never recorded after I finished writing them, and I really am proud of them. I’ve also re-arranged the opening track from my Wasted Time album in a way that really captures the mood in a way I didn’t in the original recording. They all deserve some attention. I will get them all recorded, one by one, over the next several weeks.

That also ties in with my change for my business, Fountain Pen Music. As I return to my roots and just indulge in songwriting again I want to use Fountain Pen Music to facilitate that and to help promote it. I’m still working on the new Fountain Pen Music site, but have also made a deal with a marketing firm to get their design ideas. It should be very interesting once it’s all done.

And fresh on the heels of that I am entertaining an offer to get in on a very interesting start-up. I can’t say too much about it, but my role, if I accept, will be more of melding technology with creativity…which may be what I am best suited to do. I also really do love the energy of the whole start-up company. A real “roll-up your sleeves” mentality. There’s an excitement there that I just enjoy so very much.

There is some left over drama from my dad’s death last October that keeps refusing to go away. And, while it is frustrating I don’t think it’s going to be a big problem, even though there may not be a way to keep lawyers out of it. Some people just don’t deal well when they don’t get their way…regardless of whether their way is fair or right or just plain selfish.

I just finished my Lemoncello after a long day at the end of a long week…so I’m going to take Emerson (our dog) out one last time and go up to bed.

Days Like These…

Posted on March 31, 2008 by Steve

…really make you wonder.

I don’t know how or why, but since last week I’ve been getting non-stop calls and emails from recruiters and a few HR departments. Today alone I could have taken 3 different jobs. It really makes me wonder. I know the universe likes to test us to see if we are really committed to our paths, but there comes a point where you begin wondering if maybe it’s all a hint. The universe does that too.

And, so I sit here, trying to focus on some website for some company – and I wonder if I’m squandering what time I have on stupid technology projects when I could be writing music.

Late last week an old friend emailed me to comment on a group of old songs I had posted to a website. She and I had a conversation a few weeks back about my frustration with the amount of music I’ve been doing lately. Her email was a simple 2 sentence, life is too busy for paragraphs style that we’re all familiar with. The first sentence just some semantics on the post and ordering of the tunes. But it was the second sentence that hit me like a lead balloon: “I also beg you to please start writing music again.”

and with that I sit here on what would have been my father’s 85th birthday and contemplate how complex life has become and how I feel like I don’t even recognize myself anymore. For a guy who used to answer the question “what religion are you?” with “musician” I’ve certainly lost a ton of faith.

[MEDIA=1]

Steve DeMott

The Other Side of Normal

Category Archives: General