Change is never easy. You fight to hold on. You fight to let go.
Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify. – Henry David Thoreau
It always amazes me how one chance meeting can turn into an opportunity and how that opportunity can turn into another, seemingly unrelated, opportunity. That has been the theme of this past week. A myriad of disparate connections somehow coalescing into a larger more unified plan.
Life never ceases to amaze me.
I may be coming to a point where my schedule (and workload) are at manageable levels. That hasn’t happened in a while…and I’m excited about the idea of having free time.
Yesterday I even had time to go and witness my son’s first haircut. We went down to the same barber that used to cut my hair when I was a kid (actually, he still cuts my hair). It really meant a lot to me to be able to do that…especially as this town has been changing so much these past few years.
On the work front, I have accepted, in word, a position with a start-up company as what will probably end up being the executive vice president of user experience. No contracts have been signed, but I have confirmed with the founding partner that the terms seem agreeable and I would sign a contract when he had one ready to review. We’re expecting to nail everything down over the next week or two.
I’m about 2 months away from my 20-year High School Reunion. It’s an odd feeling to think that 20 years have gone by since graduating high school. Time simply goes by too fast…in the twinkling of an eye.
All in all, along with catching my breath, it feels like I’m hitting those last few bumps in the road before a stretch of smooth sailing. Oh, the future will have more bumps…life works like that. I mean, how could you really appreciate the good without ever knowing the bad. It’s the duality of opposites. It’s what makes life “living”.
…really make you wonder.
I don’t know how or why, but since last week I’ve been getting non-stop calls and emails from recruiters and a few HR departments. Today alone I could have taken 3 different jobs. It really makes me wonder. I know the universe likes to test us to see if we are really committed to our paths, but there comes a point where you begin wondering if maybe it’s all a hint. The universe does that too.
And, so I sit here, trying to focus on some website for some company – and I wonder if I’m squandering what time I have on stupid technology projects when I could be writing music.
Late last week an old friend emailed me to comment on a group of old songs I had posted to a website. She and I had a conversation a few weeks back about my frustration with the amount of music I’ve been doing lately. Her email was a simple 2 sentence, life is too busy for paragraphs style that we’re all familiar with. The first sentence just some semantics on the post and ordering of the tunes. But it was the second sentence that hit me like a lead balloon: “I also beg you to please start writing music again.”
and with that I sit here on what would have been my father’s 85th birthday and contemplate how complex life has become and how I feel like I don’t even recognize myself anymore. For a guy who used to answer the question “what religion are you?” with “musician” I’ve certainly lost a ton of faith.
Joseph Campbell used those words to encapsulate all the resident knowledge and life lessons of mythology into it’s most basic form. We’ve all heard “follow your heart” or “follow your dreams”, but there’s something more pervasive, more all encompassing about “follow your bliss”. Our hearts can get us into trouble, because they are easily fooled. Our dreams are equally dangerous, because they can be influenced by those we trust. Our bliss is such a powerful sign-post. You always know when you are doing what you love to do, because you love doing it. There is no elusive meaning or obfuscated lesson.
Once again I find myself at a crossroads. My bliss looms before me just as other opportunities beckon me. And through it all I recall some very good advice I once received, “you don’t need to go through every open door.” Or, as I later reasoned, “just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you should do it”. And that’s where I stand at this moment, but not without every intention to start running towards my bliss.
I’ve already begun re-thinking what exactly it is that Fountain Pen Music (my company) should be. And I think I have a vision that is a lot closer to where I need to be. I say “a lot closer” because I also realize that my vision right now may not be 100% accurate. But even with that, I know it is a lot closer to where I need to be heading than it has been up until now.
I’m not going to go into detail about my new vision right now, but I will say that the Fountain Pen Music website is already undergoing a revision. Feel free to keep your eyes on that site over the next few weeks to understand where this is all coming from (and going to).
And one last thing: if you haven’t already noticed, I have a new tagline (up in the header), “not all who wander are lost”. It is a message I received from a very special someone who never fails to believe in me…even when I don’t believe in myself.
One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose site of the shore for a very long time.